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Would you like buttery topping on that?
Mar. 16th, 2002 07:00 pmI love the movies. Cindy loves the movies. We love going to movies. We love going to movies together.
You know what sucks about movies? Other people.
I often wish I could kill people. Seriously. Not just cow-orkers (I rarely want to kill any of them. Rarely), but annoying people in general. Like the Tims employee who won't take my order in full before attempting to fill it. Bad drivers. The caravan of people talking on their cell phones on the 401 (I do it, sure. But I'm not annoying ME). And people who drive TOO FUCKING SLOW. Jesus, lady, it's called KEEPING THE FLOW OF TRAFFIC. If EVERYONE WANTS TO GO 60, GO 60!
Feh.
But the most annoying? People who go to the movies not knowing what they want to see. You can't see it, but my head twitched there for about 15 seconds.
You see, the cinemas today carry a wide variety of films. Perhaps too wide. The sheer volume of entertainment variety causes some of the mouth breathing commons to freeze in indecision. Perhaps they're used to inquiring about the quality of every choice they have to choose from at the vendor's counter. I, unfortunately, am not.
The only time I ever have to think about what I want to see when I go to the movies is when I get to the wicket and my film is sold out.
There is NO EXCUSE for asking "what's that movie like?" You want to know WHY? Because there are a great many ways to find out what that movie is like BEFORE you get to the theatre.
How the fuck do these people end up at the movies, anyway? Do they wander the streets in packs of 18 year olds, bouncing off of random buildings until they find an open door? "Oh, there seems to be a lineup of people. Let's get in it!"
Do they sit around in their wood paneled suburban living rooms, staring at the walls and grunting until one forms the idea "let's go to the movies"? How do they get there, since the act of operating a car would entail far too many mental activities for their binary based brains? Is there a special bus for the annoying?
So, they somehow end up at the ticket wicket, and play the wonderful game of "What's that like" with the hapless ticket taker. And do you think that, really, they A) want to play that game, or B) Know enough to play that game?
They're a part time employee at a movie house; they probably know pertinent details on %60 of the films showing.
There's no excuse for this kind of ignorance among the moviegoing public! There are SO many ways to get the necessary information. Newspapers? Telephones? The Internet? The shared subconsciousness race knowledge of the stupid?
I miss the classic days of the movie house, when there were 2 theatres, IF YOU WERE LUCKY. You didn't go to a movie house, you went to see THAT MOVIE. You went to see what was playing at Theatre A, B, or C.
But now, you've got Megaplexi where you can spend 20 minutes asking what the movies are about. Gah.
It wouldn't bother me so much if there was an express line. Or computerized kiosks that didn't charge $80,000 in service fees. But there's only 'lines with stupid people in them'.
So, yeah: a lesson for the audience at home. Don't wander the streets randomly, bouncing off each other, until you get to a movie theatre and have to inquisit about each film on the bill. Or I'll euthanize you.
You know what sucks about movies? Other people.
I often wish I could kill people. Seriously. Not just cow-orkers (I rarely want to kill any of them. Rarely), but annoying people in general. Like the Tims employee who won't take my order in full before attempting to fill it. Bad drivers. The caravan of people talking on their cell phones on the 401 (I do it, sure. But I'm not annoying ME). And people who drive TOO FUCKING SLOW. Jesus, lady, it's called KEEPING THE FLOW OF TRAFFIC. If EVERYONE WANTS TO GO 60, GO 60!
Feh.
But the most annoying? People who go to the movies not knowing what they want to see. You can't see it, but my head twitched there for about 15 seconds.
You see, the cinemas today carry a wide variety of films. Perhaps too wide. The sheer volume of entertainment variety causes some of the mouth breathing commons to freeze in indecision. Perhaps they're used to inquiring about the quality of every choice they have to choose from at the vendor's counter. I, unfortunately, am not.
The only time I ever have to think about what I want to see when I go to the movies is when I get to the wicket and my film is sold out.
There is NO EXCUSE for asking "what's that movie like?" You want to know WHY? Because there are a great many ways to find out what that movie is like BEFORE you get to the theatre.
How the fuck do these people end up at the movies, anyway? Do they wander the streets in packs of 18 year olds, bouncing off of random buildings until they find an open door? "Oh, there seems to be a lineup of people. Let's get in it!"
Do they sit around in their wood paneled suburban living rooms, staring at the walls and grunting until one forms the idea "let's go to the movies"? How do they get there, since the act of operating a car would entail far too many mental activities for their binary based brains? Is there a special bus for the annoying?
So, they somehow end up at the ticket wicket, and play the wonderful game of "What's that like" with the hapless ticket taker. And do you think that, really, they A) want to play that game, or B) Know enough to play that game?
They're a part time employee at a movie house; they probably know pertinent details on %60 of the films showing.
There's no excuse for this kind of ignorance among the moviegoing public! There are SO many ways to get the necessary information. Newspapers? Telephones? The Internet? The shared subconsciousness race knowledge of the stupid?
I miss the classic days of the movie house, when there were 2 theatres, IF YOU WERE LUCKY. You didn't go to a movie house, you went to see THAT MOVIE. You went to see what was playing at Theatre A, B, or C.
But now, you've got Megaplexi where you can spend 20 minutes asking what the movies are about. Gah.
It wouldn't bother me so much if there was an express line. Or computerized kiosks that didn't charge $80,000 in service fees. But there's only 'lines with stupid people in them'.
So, yeah: a lesson for the audience at home. Don't wander the streets randomly, bouncing off each other, until you get to a movie theatre and have to inquisit about each film on the bill. Or I'll euthanize you.
