Hoo'd Win: Jack Attack!

[thebitterguy]

Today, on Hoo'd Win, the leading Fake Fight Network on your friends list, we take it to the Extreme! Our two competitors are both shining scions of American manhood. Hailing from California, Jack Bauer is what is known in some books as a tough son of a bitch. He's accumulated a host of acronyms in his resume, starting with MA, LAPD, SWAT, SFOD-D, CIA, and CTU. He's saved the United States (or at least California) on more than one occasion. He's a paragon of The Ends Justify My Breaking Your Limbs, and he eats pig iron and shits ingots.

Our next contestant, however, still views him as a pussy. Jack Burton. Jack Burton has been to hell. Several hells, in fact. He's a raconteur, a man of many words and more actions. He's paid his dues, and he's looked that big 'ol storm in the eye and said "Give me your best shot. I can take it." He never drives faster than he can see, because it's all in the reflexes. He's the best sidekick a guy could ever ask for, but don't tell him that.

So, loyal viewers: Which of these Jacks of one trade (ass-kicking) will it be? The government man, or the man of the road?

Choose! Choose now!

[Poll #877171]

Comments

[thebitterguy]

Amusingly enough, there's a community dedicated to RPS of the two of them, so it seems unfair to make them fight.