The Bitter Guy Speaks, mostly coherently: What? WHAT?

[thebitterguy]

Okay, did I fall asleep while humanity's good judgment jumped the tracks or something? Female Roller derby is back?

What the FUCK!? Will Donna Summer be performing a live show at halftime? Have the surviving Bee Gees working as refs?

I mean, Jesus, I'm not one of those retarded "Nothing good came out of the 70s!" Lileks worshippers, but let's just grasp onto lucidity for a short second and try to figure this out. Chicks on roller skates travelling around a circle smacking each other until they bruise their nipples was a goofy idea back when the drugs were weaker and the cuffs larger, but now, in the 21st century? Shouldn't we have Urban Brawl leagues instead? Combat Biker leagues?

Yes, I did get my copy of SR4yesterday. How did you know?

Oh, and look! Sponsored by Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer, or as humans call it "a sin for which there is no apology".

That explains a little, yes.

But, really. It's even a national phenomena. Oh, God. They do tend to spread, don't they? Can we lock the border now? I know it'll shatter our economy, but it's for the best. Fuck, there's a league in Detroit with rockin' music on the webpage. I'm missing it AS I SPEAK.

Feh.

In other news: Today, I made up a new joke. However, it requires live performance, and can never be told to anyone without a foreskin, JUST IN CASE.

Comments

[adamjury.livejournal.com]

Roller Derby is fabulous. Your dissenting opinion has been noted, and you will be thrown over the guardrail when you least expect it.

[anidada.livejournal.com]

Dude, on the Toronto LJ a while back, someone was trying to get together a local team. Where ya been?

Next up? THUNDERDOME!

[thebitterguy]

Man, how could I have missed one of the hundreds of messages that gets posted to toronto daily.

God. It may be too late. We have have to operate, and not worry about killing the patient.

[creativedv8tion.livejournal.com]

Hate to break it to ya... Roller Derby isn't make a "comeback", it never left. Sure, like anything, there's peaks and valleys in the popularity of it, and it's on an upward swing now... hell, back in the late 80's/early 90's when all those shows trying to catch the upswing of Pro Wrestling were coming out (American Gladiators and all those), there were a couple roller derby leagues on tv (with male and female teams.)

[thebitterguy]

Oh, man. It's worse than I feared. It's like some horrid infection that won't die.

[creativedv8tion.livejournal.com]

Like Raven says, [its] "a cancer on humanity".

[creativedv8tion.livejournal.com]

Oh, and it never ceases to amaze me that adults drink PBR. I always thought PBR was for the underage drinkers, or those just into the cusp of "adulthood" who were into the drink-something-heavy-to-get-drunk-and-then-drink-cheap-beer-to-stay-drunk phase.

But, then, I think all lager is pisswater, and am not a fan of most beers in the first place, so who'm I to say.

[inscrutable.livejournal.com]

Hey, don't knock PBR!

[thebitterguy]

If they weren't trying to sell it as 'beer', it would be fine. But since they are, we have a fight on our hands.

[doc-mystery.livejournal.com]

I remember as a kid watching female roller derby slack jawed on Saturday afternoons on Canadian TV (okay...it might have been a Buffalo station) back in the late 70s. And I'm not event that old.

::B::

P.S. That is rockin' music on the Detroit team's web page!

[tfbretz.livejournal.com]

It's big down here in Tejas, USA. Getting tickets for a show is an exercise in patience and/or knowing the right wrong people. Most of the time, there's a psychobilly show as well. There's a lot of overlap between greaser kids and the rollerderby crowd, which doesn't really surprise me.

[thebitterguy]

Well, everything's bigger in Texas, right?

I am unfamiliar with psychobilly, but the name is interesting. Just faster paced rockabilly? The bastard offspring of Brian Setzer and Lars Ulrich?

[tfbretz.livejournal.com]

More like the bastard of Rob Zombie and Setzer. Rockabilly with a definite groovy ghoulie horror movie feel. See also, The Meteors, Horrorpops, The Swinging Neckbreakers, Los Straightjackets, Nekromantic, Flame-Trick Subs...there's a lot of stuff out there, but I'd never discovered any of it myself until last year.

[easyalchemy.livejournal.com]

I have a foreskin!

I wear it as a thong around my neck.
It's better not to ask where I got it.

[thebitterguy]

Some kind of dinosaur, probably. Or it's VERY stretchy.

[dawgstar.livejournal.com]

I'd watch Urban Brawl. My only complaint about SR4 was the lack of made-up swearing. Silly, I know, but there you go.

[thebitterguy]

Did they replace the made up swearing with real swearing? Or just nothing?

[dawgstar.livejournal.com]

Looks like, at least from the intro fiction, real swearing. It's vaguely disconcerting to see the f-bomb dropped so many times in SR.