Because there was Controversy

[thebitterguy]

I give to you: DOOM'S DIALOGUE!

FF #5

"You are wise to restrain yourselves! Fast you you may be, my little pet here is FASTER!"
"Now that we to perform for me! If you carry it out successfully, you will be rewarded! if not, I have a hostage!"
"I have successfully developed the most incredible invention of the age... an actual Time Travel Device! And I want you to go centuries into the past and obtain the legendary treasure of BLACKBEARDfor me!"

Admittedly, I believe it's mostly the fault of Stan Lee. Not a single sentence in the comic book ends in a period. It's all question marks and exclamation points. Even in exposition.

If anything, the McSweeney'sbit was understated.

Comments

[kinra.livejournal.com]

The saddest part is that Doom's ambition was no more than to obtain Blackbeard's treasure.

[thebitterguy]

Well, it WAS magic treasure.

[thebitterguy]

"Good! Good! The gems in that chest will help me gain mastery of all the world! Theose little baubles are more than they seem! They were originally the property of Merlin, the ancient magician! He gve them mystic power... the power to make their owner INVINCIBLE!

[kinra.livejournal.com]

See, I'd prefer he went after stuff like the Seal of the Illuminati, or the Scepter of the Ancients, or the Lance of Longinus or whatever. Blackbeard's pirate treasure... man...

[thebitterguy]

Yeah, but do you think Stan Lee knew about ANY of that stuff?

[creativedv8tion.livejournal.com]

Spear, not Lance.

[kinra.livejournal.com]

I refer to the artifact as it's described in Neon Genesis Evangelion, in which it's pictured as a more lance-like object.

[creativedv8tion.livejournal.com]

Well, that makes perfect sense, b/c when the story with Blackbeard was written, I'm sure Neon Genesis Evangetiger was very popular.

[thebitterguy]

We all know what he meant. Be nice.

[kinra.livejournal.com]

I dunno, maybe he didn't know what I meant.

[thebitterguy]

Everyone starts behaving or I get out the hose again.

[creativedv8tion.livejournal.com]

Aw, you're no fun anymore, mom.

[kinra.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. I'm sure nobody has ever called a Spear a Lance before that, ever.

[pyat.livejournal.com]

Pfft. You probably think a glaive is the same thing as a volge! *eyeroll*

:)

[kinra.livejournal.com]

Lord Bitter has already called off the dogs, good sir, but I contend that if you want to translate the word "Lancea" into English, heck man you've got options.

[pyat.livejournal.com]

Don't worry - I was just making an AD&D joke. :)

[thebitterguy]

Surely you can't expect us to Unearth your Arcane sense of humour.

[kinra.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I got the thrust. Or perhaps the slash. I don't need to be bludgeoned with it.