thebitterguy

The Mohareb Test
From the forthcoming Wogs to Watch Out For
JUSTIN and SCOOTER are walking down the sidewalk, away from a MOVIE HOUSE.

Panel 1

SCOOTER
(close up)
Seriously, you don't want to see ANY of them?

Panel 2

JUSTIN
(close up)
Nope. Not a single one would be able to pass the Mohareb test.

Panel 3

(wide panel, both their heads are visible)

SCOOTER

I'm gonna regret asking, but...

JUSTIN

(word balloon overwhelms Scooter's)

The Mohareb Test is a simple way for me to determine whether or not I will see a film. If there are two characters played by Arab actors in it, and they talk about somethign that isn't A) Isreal or B) blowing something up, then I'll see it. Otherwise, I don't have time for that shit.

Panel 4

Scooter

(Close up; SCOOTER looks over at JUSTIN and seems confused)

Do you see any movies?

Panel 5

JUSTIN
(Opening door to Tim Horton's, letting SCOOTER enter)

Nah. There are surprisingly few films that qualify in either the Space Action or Romantic Comedy genres. I did enjoy Pitch Black. Everything else is a documentary or some dramatic bullshit, usually about gay guys.

Panel Six
JUSTIN Turns to the reader

And if your'e in fucking hollywood, quit it with the Italians and Greeks and Fucking ENGLISHMEN. Jesus, if you're gonna denigrate an ethnic group with stereotypical, one dimensional roles, at least dignify the actors in that group with an uncle tom paycheck.

And throw the poor bastards a bone, eh? One groom who's gonna be jilted at the altar or donut eating comic cop once in a while would let them eat some non-pork products with pride.

Panel Seven

SCOOTER's voice ballon over his shoulder.

What about Harold and Kumar?

JUSTIN

I will bend the rules a little in that case.

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Mr. Cranky. The Sixth Sense.

I'm still a weeeeee bit annoyed at it. Still enjoyed the movie, though, and on a level that most people didn't get to enjoy until they saw it a second time.

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I honestly can't think of a single one.

Can anyone remember any words or phrases I've used that need...

Ohhhh. "Do not question the fuhrer!" That can get kinda awkward.

My friend Gabe runs a blog, Salted Lithium (a 2008 nominee for Best Canadian Health Blog) where he, among other things, is detailing his current status in treating his Manic Depression. During his working days he worked as a journalist and PR dude, and he always has had a huge interest in internet privacy and related topics.

Recently a friend of his got into a little disagreement over the appropriateness of a Twitter post about getting her kids to bed. Someone decided that it was a legitimate death threat, so things got way out of hand and the police eventually got called.

Recently he another post about protecting your privacy online and keeping blog posts, etc from being tracked back to you.

He's very immersed in this sort of thing, so I bid you go read. Go!

Red Dwarf coming back.

The new two-part series Red Dwarf: Back to Earth will be followed by a "no holds barred" episode without sets, special effects or autocue.
The weekend will climax with Red Dwarf: the Making of Back to Earth, a behind-the-scenes special from the new episodes.

I have no idea what they mean by a "no holds barred" episode. I am terrified by it, though.

I love how Craig Charles is listed as Coronation Street's Craig Charles.

I think I'm mostly up to date on RD dvds, but I really need to sit down and watch them sometime.

Thanks to Angus for the heads up, though.

Okay, phone call from mother, congratulatory automated emails from RPG.net & Hero Games and a few free iCoke points.

Yep, it's officially my birthday.

And I also got this delightful gift.

Last night, Brother Uday came by and took us out for dinner. The rib platter at Matt's is still delightful, but God I could have probably stopped eating earlier in the meal. Next time we'll just stick to a half rack of the red hot. The coleslaw was delightful.

We also got to play some Rock Band back at Casa Bitter. Much more fun as a three player game than solo. Cynra is really good on the skins.

• 15:22 I am now tantalized by the idea of Outlander. Beowulf meets Aliens? Gimme summa dat! #

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Niagara Boardgaming Weekend, February 5-8. I know nothing about this event, other than it's happening very soon.

CAINE, March 19-23 2009 is the convention for the the Camarilla, White Wolf's fan club. There will be enough LARP to choke a goat.

TABSCon March 21, 2009 is a quarterly boargaming con put on by the Toronto Area Boardgaming Society. It's got a $5 admission and is held in a church hall.

Gryphcon, March 27-28, 2009 is put on by the University of Guelph gaming club.

Ambercon XX, April 16-19, 2009 is a convention dedicated to all things Amber, including extensive games of Amber Dicesless RP and LARP.

UBCon XX, April 17-19, 2009 a con put on by the University of New York at Buffalo gaming club. I know nothing about this show, other than it's in Buffalo so we'll be going for wings.

Transformers Con, April 25th and 26th, 2009is a con dedicated to all things Transformers. They may have a few games of the WotC transformers card game, but they may not. Who knows?

Cangames, May 15-17, 2009. The oldest gaming con in Canada. It's held in a curling arena, so you can buy booze there. Trust me, that's not to be undersestimated. eyebeams can tell you how awesome that is.

Anime North, May 22-24 2009 is supposed to have a good gaming track, but I've never been able to attend. They've got guests and TRPA is running some gaming events there.

TABSCon June 27th, 2009 is the second TABScon of 2009.

Canadian National Gaming Expo 2009, August 28-30, 2009 is part of FanExpo Canada, the largest Media event in Canada. Guests and a preliminary game list will be announced in May, with scheduels up at the beginning of June.

TABSCon September 12th, 2009 is the third of TABS regular boardgaming events for 2009.

Phantasm: Sept 26 & 27, 2009 is a gaming con held in Peterborough at the Peterborough library.

TABSCon December 5th, 2009

Some gaming may be at:

Polaris, formerly known as Toronto Trek, July 10-12, 2009 has pretty much left gaming to die since luciancarter left. They have a LAN room, and some rooms are available for gaming, but none has been organized in years.

Ad Astra, March 27-29, 2009 has for the past few years had a room with boardgames and card games in it and had a few SJG MiB there. The non scary ones, too.

Info is still needed for:

King Con was held in Kingston last year at RMC. To say I was tremendously pissed to miss it is an understatment, because it was held in Yeo Hall, which has a lot of goodM memories for me and is a great venue for a gaming con.

Pandemonium did not happen last year,ostensibly because the organizer and his wife had had a baby. We'll see what happens this year.

RushCon 2009 has no gaming that I know of. But it's a con for Rush fans, so that's awesome.

Xposted to thebitterguy and toronto_gamers

• 15:43 Elephants can swim? This seems strange to me for some reason. #
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• 21:44 Hurley is beginning to remind me of Plastic Man's Hawaiian sidekick. "Me and my baaaaaaad luck." #
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• 21:48 Yay! Batmanuel to save the day! #lost #
• 21:56 Emo Sawyer is Emo. #lost #
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• 22:12 I like to put a copy of Fortean Times and a copy of Skeptic Magazine next to each other and see if they'll fight it out. #
• 09:43 I really need to see Silence of the Lambs again. Is there a good DVD version our now? #

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A dude playing a dude playin a dude disguised as another dude.