Avert your eyes, children!

[thebitterguy]

Stardust rated 'Very Offensive' by Christian Spotlight on the Movies.

Consider yourselves warned.

Edit: As a morality based 'review', it has very little belief in the concept of spoilers.

Comments

[dewline.livejournal.com]

Seeing as they're not going to like any movie based on any comic book of mine anyway...feh.

[rentagurkha.livejournal.com]

"What starts out as a great idea for a fantasy movie quickly becomes an seemingly endless parade of heartless patricides, murders, forecasting the future with runes made from bone, killing animals and foretelling the future with their entrails, torture, murder, and reanimation with a voodoo doll, discussion of ritualistic cannibalism, animals devouring living people, and so many adult themes that it would take more time for me to list them than to watch the movie."

Sounds great!

[tfbretz.livejournal.com]

It's really much better than that.

[thebitterguy]

Besides, they're all fratricides. I can't name a single patricide in the whole thing.

What movie was she watching!?

[rodshark.livejournal.com]

Forgive me if I am mistaken, Its been years since I've read that fantasy book,

But didn't like 90% of all that stuff happen in the Bible?

[deven-science.livejournal.com]

You beat me to it! This review, while containing way too many spoilers, made me want to see it even more.

It's being compared to The Princess Bride, though and I find that hard to believe.

[thebitterguy]

I believe that was by me, only without the sexual magentism of Andre the Giant.

[shara.livejournal.com]

Actually, it's interesting that the biggest thing she takes offense to is the portrayal of women:

"...it reduces females to possessions (young) or evil witches (mature). But somehow, even though Yvaine is called a “stupid cow” by Tristan and is enslaved by him as a present for another girl, she somehow falls in love with him, and they live happily ever after."

That's really not a bad point.

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

Very out of context.

[shara.livejournal.com]

What, my quote or her observations? The full quote is:

"I think that it reduces females to possessions (young) or evil witches (mature). But somehow, even though Yvaine is called a “stupid cow” by Tristan and is enslaved by him as a present for another girl, she somehow falls in love with him, and they live happily ever after."

I've seen the film, and I don't think this is a terrible summary of it. I mean, I enjoyed the film, but there's no denying that women get the same shaft they always get in fantasy. The good, young girls are all locked up and need saving, and the bad, old ladies are obsessed with getting their looks back and have become unholy terrors because of it. The last time I watched a fantasy film with a woman I felt I wanted to be was... wait...

...thinking...

...

I'll get back to you when I can think of one. :/

[thebitterguy]

Hogfather?

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

Her summary.

I'm not saying what she's saying isn't true, I just think there's more to the story. The star isn't a particularly nice person (with reason) - but in the beginning she isn't really a person, she's a star in human form. Nicer in the movie than the book, though.

I quite liked Tristan's mom.

I don't think the male characters are more likable. Tristan is obsessed with a vain woman (and they exist - she reminds me of the girls my daughter hated in high school) and treats Yvaine like an object. Which, in a way, she is.

The brothers are all trying to kill each other.

The captain's a good guy, but only because he's in touch with his feminine side.

I quite like Tristan's dad.

Maybe it's a pro-parents message.

[shara.livejournal.com]

Oh! Serenity. Because Joss's gals always kick teh ass.

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

'Tis true.

[rodshark.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and like the Bible portrays women in the best of light at all times... sheesh!

*eye rolling at the review*

I'd love for someone to write a movie based on the bible, but change all the main characters names and places and see how they would review it *lol*

[circus13.livejournal.com]

"I'd love for someone to write a movie based on the bible, but change all the main characters names and places and see how they would review it *lol*"

Ya know, if I get a chance somewhere down the road in a bit, I know at least one guy I could collaborate with, make it an audio production and see what kind of fundies would actually realize what it was originally based on.

Don't worry, I'll give you credit for the idea though. LOL

[heron61.livejournal.com]

The odd thing is that I agree with some of their critism, but for somewhat different reasons. The film does indeed have a great young women being enslaved and from a gender perspective in general is pretty darn regressive. OTOH, that's (sadly) exceedingly common in light Hollywood fluff, which this film most certain is.

[thebitterguy]

What about DeNiro's transvestite pirate?

[heron61.livejournal.com]

He was absolutely wonderful in that role, and also utterly stole the show. However, all the rest of the gender implication of that movie were fairly horrid.

[elizalavelle.livejournal.com]

"Tristan (Casanova) is the somewhat likable main character of the movie" - or you know he's entirely delicious, take your pick ;)

"Victoria, played by Sienna Miller (Casanova) portrays the lovely young queen of hearts in the village." - Or she's beautiful but a terrible person and so the moral of the story begins which apparently alluded the reviewer.

What a waste of a review. I for one thought upon seeing this movie that when I have kids this will definitely be on their movie shelf :)

[thebitterguy]

Well, I think when she calls her "queen of hearts" she may not be being entirely complimentary.

Spoiler warning?

[absinthe-dot-ca.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's just me, but should a movie review give away pretty much the entire movie like that? This review had more spoilers than the vegetable crisper in a broken fridge...

I read movie reviews to decide if I want to go, not to have the entire movie summarized in 3000 words or less.

Re: Spoiler warning?

[thebitterguy]

It's not really a traditional review; they tend to catalogue everything they, and by extension their readers, will find offensive about the film.

Re: Spoiler warning?

[absinthe-dot-ca.livejournal.com]

Ah, so not so much a "review" as a "why the film-maker is going to Hell"?

Re: Spoiler warning?

[thebitterguy]

Pretty much. Not the best one I ever saw, though. On said that Blade was morally harmful.

Re: Spoiler warning?

[thebitterguy]

Why would the food in the vegetable crisper be more spoiled than anything else in a broken fridge?