One Year Later

[thebitterguy]

Just realized it's been a year since a certain person died.

I'm still feeling very conflicted about the whole situation. Mostly angry, at him. For what he did, for who he was behind his little smiles and steak and kidney pie with curry on the chips and two glasses to start.

We were at best casual acquaintances; been drinking maybe four or five times in toto. But to learn the truth about someone, especially in circumstances like that, especially when the truth is SO FAR from what you know is... It's tough. It's like finding out someone is a smoker when you didn't know they were. Only about a hundred times worse.

I dunno. I may just pass the hat at dinner on Friday for Vicitim Services of Peel.

Comments

[vonandmoggy.livejournal.com]

Well...colour me curious.

[creativedv8tion.livejournal.com]

Colour me clueless... I figure it's some extremely northern-oriented thing, or close circle of friends thing, b/c I'm baffled.

[thebitterguy]

A Toronto guy died last year on Sept 13 in unpleasent circumstances. It turned out his personality was different from what we all thought it was.

Just a bad scene.

[kinra.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was shocked to all hell, having only met him a week or so before. That was, of course, only a few months after another friend had died.

I barely knew him, but it turned out I didn't even come close to knowing him. Just, yeah, what the fucking hell.

[anidada.livejournal.com]

I didn't quite get what all had gone down with that, at the time -- just a lot of vagueness. This, too, is vague. But, having googled... yikes.

[thebitterguy]

It has been sitting in the back of my mind ever since. I have this huge disconnect between what appeared to happen and what everyone else seems to think happened.

[indefatigable42.livejournal.com]

Speaking from personal experience in much less dire circumstances, and from talking to other people who have tried to do some awful things... mental illness makes people act not like themselves. People who survive look back and can't understand what drove them to do the things they did (or tried to do). They recognize that their thought processes were illogical.

In other words, everyone thinks, "oh, we didn't know who he really was until the end", but I suspect that they've got it backwards. The person they knew was the real one.

[scapersuse.livejournal.com]

I like to hope you're right about that. I was casual friends with him for about 2 & 1/2 years and while I realized I didn't know all sides of him, I never would have suspected that side even existed. I didn't even know his position on guns until after his death. It all still really disturbs me.

[sassy-fae.livejournal.com]

From everything I know about the situation, you're not the only one who was shocked/conflicted about the whole thing.

Was there ever any information on how the victim fared?

[thebitterguy]

All I know is that she was blinded from the shot.

Do you ever really know someone????!!!!????!!!!

[richess.livejournal.com]

I was definitely shocked too, I had no clue. Even today I still WOW! And of course not in a good way but there is no other way to describe it. I was a casual acquaintance of his too, we talked alot about productions and thing going on in Toronto and places. It's just weird to even think about what happened over a year ago :-(.

Re: Do you ever really know someone????!!!!????!!!!

[thebitterguy]

That's so incredibly true. I don't know if we'll ever understand the truth about the situation, who he really was. I'm just afraid he was laughing at us all.

[hazyone101.livejournal.com]

*shudders*

I was thinking about him this morning and the fact that I would never see his smiling face again or get another hug from him. I was wondering what made this suddenly pop into my head.

Something in the very back of my mind must have remembered it was today.

[sassy-fae.livejournal.com]

*nods* That's about the last I heard.