It has been a while so...

[thebitterguy]

I feel this is something that can use observation and discussion. So, I present to you: The Geek Social Fallacies.

I've always found them interesting, but I'm finding as my immersion in geek groupings dwindles, they become less appropriate. I'm not sure if I can see the whole idea that Ostracizers Are Evil as so vital.

To be honest, I've not encountered anyone as desperately in need to being told to go away as either of The Scary Furry Jeffs I've Known in years, but I can't imagine I'd have trouble weaning them away if I did.

Everyone I know has gotten (thankfully) to a point where they realize #2 (Friends Accept Me As I Am) is BS, and that grownup acting is required, at least a little.

Friendship Before All, GSF3 is kind of a non-starter. There's nothing that can't be avoided by "sorry, man, but I have Foo then" that won't be accepted. GSF4 (Friendship Is Transitive)? God, I shudder at the thought of getting extended family members in the same room with gaming buddies or fandom folk.

GSF5 ("Friends Do Everything Together") is not a huge problem, in that the house can handle a few people, but one of my failings is "oh, why don't we invite Blah", which can get things crowded.

So, yes. Geek Social Fallacies. Do we still need to worry about them?

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's not that all geeks have all social fallacies, or any of them; more that geek groups have a great deal of any of these given types. If you hang out with fewer geeks - well, yeah, you can worry less. ;)

On another note, I have the YFYP problem on occasion.

[noizangel.livejournal.com]

I think it's not that all geeks have all social fallacies, or any of them; more that geek groups have a great deal of any of these given types. If you hang out with fewer geeks - well, yeah, you can worry less. ;)

On another note, I have the YFYP problem on occasion.

(Er, the anon was me. :P)

[thebitterguy]

YFYP?

[noizangel.livejournal.com]

'Your Feelings, Your Problem'.

It's further down in the GSF thingy.

[madmanofprague.livejournal.com]

I have seen some of them in action, but not all, and to be honest there's nothing in them that makes them uniquely geeky phenomena, but rather just a certain type of social personality.

[viktor-haag.livejournal.com]

I agree -- most of them seem to be pretty typical of the kinds of dynamics that all teenagers struggle with (and through, with luck) as they yearn towards adulthood.

For example, look at these behaviours as described, and then watch an episode of just about any long-running daytime soap.

[thothmeister.livejournal.com]

Well, I guess I'm a fuzzy Jeff, but not a Scary one. :) I'm too small to seem imposing anyway.

[thebitterguy]

Nah, you're not one of the scary Jeffs.

[waiwode.livejournal.com]

Seen them all. Suffered from some from one degree to another, particularly when I was younger.

To a lesser degree, I think many people are touched by non-obsessive versions of these fallacies. For instance assuming we meet certain hygiene standards, and aren't indulging in self-destructive behaviour, most people expect their friends to be fairly accepting of them.

Maybe not "set us up with their sister" accepting, though.

Likewise, back in the days of the Big Chaplinhaus Parties that uniquecrash5 might remember blurrily, one of the reasons they went off so well is because people from very wide and diverse social circles were invited. That got the weirdest when one became the semi-Official After Party for a performance of Rocky Horror one Halloween. By dragging all kinds of circles together, you always had new people to talk to/get hammered with/hit on/whatever.

For me, recently, the most acute application of the GSF has been kicking a long-time friend and player disruptor out of the gaming group, but trying to remain friends. He didn't take it well, and couldn't divide a GM's decision for the good of the group from a Friend's decision.

Doug.

[thebitterguy]

The one problem is that far too often, it ends up with my friends and Cindy's friends in different rooms. I've even tried to force mingling, but that always feels artificial.

[viktor-haag.livejournal.com]

One way to get past this problem is to do an activity together. That way, it doesn't feel like forced mingling, and everyone gets to interact without a huge demand to "converse" or "be witty".

It sounds old-fogeyish, but a big fun boardgame evening, or a huge card game, can often serve a good purpose for this kind of thing.

(Yah, so I'm middle aged with kids... sue me... 8))

[thebitterguy]

Of course, getting a boardgame that will do enough people and doesn't intimidate (some people can't handle anything more contemporary than monopoly, or don't cotton to anthing that scents of 'gaming') is another challenge I can't handle while there's a grill to watch. :)