thebitterguy

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You know, I just wanna say, for once and for all, that the members of

childfree just creep me out.

Scary group of very hostile people.

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adamjury.livejournal.com

Wow. I don't want kids and don't understand why anyone would ever want kids, but those people are just such complete fuckknuckles.

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noondaypaisley.livejournal.com

wow! how did you stumble across that group of self rightous asshats?

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By random chance. The same kind that gets you hit by a truck.

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You have too much time on your hands. :)

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I know some decent people in there, but it's not something I would join.

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I dunno. It's kinda like the Heritage Front. Sure, there may be a few nice people in it, but the organization as a whole?

Scary shit, man.

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I really don't think that's a fair comparison.

I wouldn't hang out with racists. I would and do hang out with people who choose not to have kids.

Big difference.

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The group comes across as a hate group oriented towards people who do have children, and the children themselves.

Sure, some people might join because they advocate a lifestyle, but the group comes across in a certain way.

If they approve of that, they'll be painted with that brush.

Sure, they're not as bad as the heritage front, and that may have been a poor comparison, but overal, it's odious and foul. If they want to make a lifestyle choice, that's good. But being a dick about it is bad. And Childfree is a free range dick farm.

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But do you hang out with people who froth at the mouth (or keyboard) about how they don't want to have kids? I have nothing but respect for people who choose not to have kids and then don't -- assuming the respect is mutual, naturally. It's a shame there isn't more of that in the world, frankly (given all the unwanted and/or unloved kids out there, one assumes that many people who don't want/like kids nevertheless have them -- often in abundance).

However, there's a huge difference between that attitude, which is reasonable and laudable, and the kind frequently seen on communities like this one (there are worse, no doubt). FWIW, I've been pointed there several times in the past by folks on the BF communities I frequent, over anti-breastfeeding-in-public screeds, and I can't help but wonder what the heck is wrong with some people over there. Not all, mind you -- just the ones that can't get a grip. *shrug* I would like to think that reasonable discussions balance out irrational tirades, but my experience of online communities suggests that that's wishful thinking (ah, the days of HF... how I don't miss them). YMMV, of course.

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I'd agree a lot of it comes across as nasty. There's a few posts where I look at 'em and go 'what the hell is your problem?' - I mean, 'I'm nocturnal and kids wake me up' - boo-hoo, whatever. Construction and fire alarms wake -me- up all the time, but I'm not posting to a group about it.

However, there are points I agree with. If you've decided to not have kids, people -do- tend to get patronizing about the decision, people give you a hard time, and in some cases, you can be treated unfairly. Holidays and other occasions are often considered to be 'family time' - so single or couples without children can get shafted at work simply because they're not parents. That's kinda ass.

So I guess I'm saying I get where they're supposedly coming from - but like mostly places online, there's more jerks bitching than interesting discussion.

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I agree that it's totally ridiculous that people who choose not to have kids get hassled (by everyone from relatives to total strangers) and aren't treated fairly by employers (though frankly, at my office, if you have kids, you're screwed). I'd really like to see that change (hopefully it is changing, with our generation).

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Most people I know accept children or lack thereof as a choice to be made one way or the other - parents, parents to be, and the childfree. I guess I'm mostly lucky on that.

Anyway, see my reply to Justin for most of the stuff I was getting at. And yeah, expecting reasonable discussion to outweigh screeching on any online community is expecting a lot. ;)

I just get where they're (supposedly) coming from. Anti-breastfeeding in public is just lame, though. A boob or a screaming child - I'll take the boob every time.

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