To My American Brethren

[thebitterguy]

If some of you have been watching Conan's Toronto Adventure, you may have seen Ronny James performance Monday night.

If you're feeling at all confused with what the little man was saying on the magic box, consider that the revenge of your neighbours, nay, the world, for Jeff Foxworthy.

And The Dukes of Hazard. Because that show was just a pile of LIES. Show made me think you could buy dynamite tipped arrows at the local Piggy Wiggly.

One day, when I was working in the south, I thought it would be good to take some dynamite tipped arrows to work (there were issues). So I stroll up to the local Piggly Wiggly and looked for the dynamite tipped arrows. Of course, they weren't in housewares, so I figured they'd be over the counter items, like cigarettes or condoms.

TBG: Excuse me, sir, may I purchase a dozen of your finest dynamite tipped arrows?

Cashier: Do what now?

TBG: Dynamite tipped arrows. Yes, and how about that local sports team?

Cashier: Do What Now?

TBG: Just a dozen, sirrah. No need to dally.

Cashier: We don't carry those here.

TBG: What? No dynamite tipped arrows? Why not? This is America! This is a Piggly Wiggly! Bring them hence!

Cashier: I'm afraid you'll have to leave, sir.

TBG: But I haven't paid for my pork rinds or Mr. Pibb!

{curtain closes}

Of course, thank God that didn't happen today, or I'd surely have been put in a nice 6x6 suite in Gitmo.

Comments

[pyat.livejournal.com]

He probably thought you were working for Boss Hogg.