Facts about Hazel McCallion:

[thebitterguy]

Hazel McCallion has a photo in her attic that's getting YOUNGER.

Hazel was carved from one of Eris' apples.

When Hazel was struck by a truck, her diagnostic processes declared the impact negligible.

Every full moon, Hazel will go to a random Mississaugan's house and balance their checkbooks for them. If they want it or not!

Hazel doesn't show up for debates, and still gets 90% of the vote!

That previous one is ACTUALLY TRUE.

Hazel wanted to open a prison in Mississauga, but the inmates were afraid of her.

Hazel knew Mother Nature when she was still a virgin.

Hazel has a book of the Bible written about her, but it came before Genesis.

cargoweasel's fault.

Comments

[absinthe-dot-ca.livejournal.com]

So, wait, is Hazel the mother of Chuck Norris?

[cargoweasel.livejournal.com]

Hazel McCallion is the mother of Mitochondrial Eve.

[cargoweasel.livejournal.com]

This is great. Although only the population of Mississauga will get it :3

[axiomaxiom.livejournal.com]

I get this, but only because I know Cargo.

--Mississaxiom

[absinthe-dot-ca.livejournal.com]

But what's her midichlorian count?

[thebitterguy]

I think the world is ready for Hazel now.