The Bitter Guide to Enchanted
Dec. 3rd, 2007 04:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thebitterguyCynra & I, in what will be blamed on the fevers, watched Shrek The Halls last week.
Destined to be a holiday millstone around the neck of parents everywhere, it was possibly the worst Christmas special ever. Yes, worse than the Star Wars one.
It just reeked of horrid and the particular hypocrisy that comes with being told of the preciousness of the Christmas experience from what is pretty much a bloated Hollywood franchise. Not to mention the animation will probably not age as well as Rudolph.
On the plus side, we saw Enchanted, which was not horrid. I don’t think it’s as awesome as everyone else seems to think it was, but it was a cute reversal on "normal person finds themself in fantasy world" type of shtick. It was pretty much the walking Frankenstein's Monster of every Disney Princess bit that's grown so horribly, horribly annoying over the past few years, but I managed to overcome my reaction to that. I didn't quite overcome the raucous family of eight behind us that was three generations of annoying people; a super-senile grandma (the people on the screen can't hear you, miss), a probably haggard mom, and several kids of various levels of "please, child, stop talking while the movie is on." One of them kept kicking Cynra's seat, and while she was happy to ignore it, I grew annoyed enough to ask the child "please don't kick this seat again. Ever."
There was one thing that kind of annoyed me. You see, Giselle, the heroine of the tale (who is plucky. Oh, my, is she plucky) has met her prince, and in what is normally a post credits sequence, she goes off to get married to him, only to be sidetracked by his wicked stepmother (which was a bit much; couldn't he just have a really mean mom? Or would that make the final act of matricide a bit much for a G rating?). Wicked stepmother sends her to New York, New York, where Disney Princess meets a guy played by a shiftless Canadian.
Okay, here's the odd part. So, her destined prince (played by James Marsden in a hilarious turn) follows her, kills a city bus, and then when they go on a date, she decides she wants to stay. Because, somehow, abandoning your life to go marry a guy you've only known for one day is bad if it happens in a fairy tale, but perfectly okay in the real world.
Not to mention the whole film takes a big steaming dump on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
zenten's Vulcan Love theory. Seriously, McDreamy's character uses it as his justification for everything in his life, but dumps that (and his soon-to-be fiance, played by a hideously underused Idina Menzel; seriously, give her a fuckin' musical number) after a Princess (well, technically a peasant girl, what with her not having married the prince yet) leads a group of Central Park denizens in a musical number.
In the end, she starts a company (or possibly just steals Idina's) dedicated to making princess dresses for little girls. God, the more I think about this movie, the more I hate it.
Seriously, the film's messages come across as somewhere between muddled and incoherent. Oh! And the Prince and his ladyfriend seal the deal when he puts a slipper on her foot! Just like in Cinderella! But I thought they just told us that stuff was bullshit?!
Fuck, my head is about to 'splode. Dammit. I hate the movie now.
Destined to be a holiday millstone around the neck of parents everywhere, it was possibly the worst Christmas special ever. Yes, worse than the Star Wars one.
It just reeked of horrid and the particular hypocrisy that comes with being told of the preciousness of the Christmas experience from what is pretty much a bloated Hollywood franchise. Not to mention the animation will probably not age as well as Rudolph.
On the plus side, we saw Enchanted, which was not horrid. I don’t think it’s as awesome as everyone else seems to think it was, but it was a cute reversal on "normal person finds themself in fantasy world" type of shtick. It was pretty much the walking Frankenstein's Monster of every Disney Princess bit that's grown so horribly, horribly annoying over the past few years, but I managed to overcome my reaction to that. I didn't quite overcome the raucous family of eight behind us that was three generations of annoying people; a super-senile grandma (the people on the screen can't hear you, miss), a probably haggard mom, and several kids of various levels of "please, child, stop talking while the movie is on." One of them kept kicking Cynra's seat, and while she was happy to ignore it, I grew annoyed enough to ask the child "please don't kick this seat again. Ever."
There was one thing that kind of annoyed me. You see, Giselle, the heroine of the tale (who is plucky. Oh, my, is she plucky) has met her prince, and in what is normally a post credits sequence, she goes off to get married to him, only to be sidetracked by his wicked stepmother (which was a bit much; couldn't he just have a really mean mom? Or would that make the final act of matricide a bit much for a G rating?). Wicked stepmother sends her to New York, New York, where Disney Princess meets a guy played by a shiftless Canadian.
Okay, here's the odd part. So, her destined prince (played by James Marsden in a hilarious turn) follows her, kills a city bus, and then when they go on a date, she decides she wants to stay. Because, somehow, abandoning your life to go marry a guy you've only known for one day is bad if it happens in a fairy tale, but perfectly okay in the real world.
Not to mention the whole film takes a big steaming dump on
zenten's Vulcan Love theory. Seriously, McDreamy's character uses it as his justification for everything in his life, but dumps that (and his soon-to-be fiance, played by a hideously underused Idina Menzel; seriously, give her a fuckin' musical number) after a Princess (well, technically a peasant girl, what with her not having married the prince yet) leads a group of Central Park denizens in a musical number. In the end, she starts a company (or possibly just steals Idina's) dedicated to making princess dresses for little girls. God, the more I think about this movie, the more I hate it.
Seriously, the film's messages come across as somewhere between muddled and incoherent. Oh! And the Prince and his ladyfriend seal the deal when he puts a slipper on her foot! Just like in Cinderella! But I thought they just told us that stuff was bullshit?!
Fuck, my head is about to 'splode. Dammit. I hate the movie now.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-12-03 09:36 pm (UTC)I am afraid. So terribly afraid.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-03 09:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-03 09:50 pm (UTC)And I think the point was that nobody in the movie really knew what they wanted with regards to love. Giselle learned there was more to falling in love than that one Disney Moment. McDreamy learned that you can't be a Vulcan about love, and that sometimes you gotta be willing to sing and dance. Idina learned that she did want the impulsive fairy tale love (instead of her Vulcan relationship with McDreamy). I don't know if Edward really learned anything about love, but he was enough of a mensch to let Giselle go and was willing to stuff a sword in his Wicked Stepmother. Even Wormtail (because I forget his character's name) learned not to be a co-dependent schmuck.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-03 10:06 pm (UTC)I understand all the words, but that sentence doesn't make any sense.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-03 11:15 pm (UTC)Therefore, that sentence makes perfect sense.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-03 11:22 pm (UTC)feel my pain.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-04 01:37 am (UTC)Pverall, it was better than expected for Lyn Guide. But you do have very valid points.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-04 01:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-04 02:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-04 03:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-04 03:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-07 04:32 pm (UTC)