(no subject)

[thebitterguy]

In things that have upset us recently, I had just picked up Cindy yesterday from work and we were just about to exit from the parking lot when we noticed three things. A) A man, B) His dog, and C) a car coming down the street.

The dog went to cross the street, and the car hit it. It's still burned into my eyes. It seemed to be dragged down the street about 20 feet. The car wasn't going too fast, thank God, since it was a school zone, but it was still probably one of the worst things we ever saw. They went right in front of us. I got out of the car and just kind of stood there for a minute.

The owner was in a state of shock. He just kind of stood there screaming vulgarities.

Then, the dog got up. Stood up. Walked over to him.

Cindy says it looked hurt, but I couldn't tell. I was just in a strange state of shock. Stunned. Doing nothing. If you know me, you probably have some recollection of me as something resembling (or at least similar to) a bundle of activity.

In retrospect, my brain thinks we should have grabbed the guy, bundled up the dog, and driven them to his house (he said his wife is a veterinarian). Instead, we just stood there.

Jesus, I feel stupid now.

On the inside of our wedding rings, Cindy & I have engraved "No doubts, no regrets". A bit of bravado, I guess, from two people infected with the requisite amount of uncertainty that comes with walking up the aisle. I guess I didn't quite live up to that yesterday.

There ya go. Regret. Let's hear it for violating your sacred promises.

Hey, another thought: I don't think I would trust anyone who didn't actually doubt their decisions or ever regret the consequences. Jesus, you'd have to be a psychopath to do that. I just don't want to sabotage myself with self doubt, or torture myself with endless recrimination.

Just a note.

Comments

Hey, guess what?

[electricland.livejournal.com]

Being good in emergencies ain't easy. I, for instance, tend to be perfectly idiotic in emergencies* (I'm sure this will comfort you a great deal, coming from a perfect stranger, but oh well). I mean, you said it yourself -- you were in shock. Completely understandable. You saw something horrible. What do you expect of yourself -- perfect command of every situation you find yourself in, no matter how unusual and/or shocking? As you say, you'd have to be psychotic.

Give yourself a break. Did you find out if the dog is OK?

Re: Hey, guess what?

[thebitterguy]

Thanks. Cindy has been asking her kids if they know anyone in the area with a German Shephard.

Once again, an awkward question to ask. "We were there when your dog was hit by a car, is it okay?"