Hoo'd Win: Part the Cybernetic!

[thebitterguy]

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, children of ALL ages!

I bring to you the next in a never ending installment of Hoo'd Win?!

In THIS battle, we bring two evil cyborgs to battle it out in the theatre of the mind. Which mind? YOUR mind!

Yes, friends, for today, we shall settle, once and for all (or just never) Hoo'd Win: The Daleks, or the Borg?

One is all destroying, the other all consuming. One couldn't handle stairs until several iterations in, the other can deflect lasers with their nipples but can't handle holographic tommy gun bullets. One is led by a kinda hot chick with no lower torso (not much upper torso either, but some guys like that), the other is led by a very very large pepper shaker.
Bring the noise! Bring the conflict! Answer, now: HOO'D WIN?!

Comments

[creativedv8tion.livejournal.com]

Since Daleks are masters of Time Travel, and Borg only occasional wanderers in time, Daleks get the nod.

That, and they're from a cooler show.

[scott-lynch.livejournal.com]

The Daleks would win by a wide margin because the Borg are emotionless cyber-eunuchs while the Daleks are total fucking bastards. Germ warfare, time travel, obscene medical experiments... they'll do it all. Also, the Daleks were never defeated by anyone as lame as the fucking crew of the USS Voyager, so I just gotta tip the hat to 'em.

[kinra.livejournal.com]

Borg, I say.

First, I rebut. The Borg have the capacity to dabble in time travel, as twillits has asserted, and they only do it when necessary. "First Contact" was illustrative; they were very close to stoping Humanity's entrance upon the galactic stage.

Cooler show? Yes, on the whole. But "Best of Both Worlds" was about as good as '90s Trek got. (Occasional quibblers may point to "In the Pale Moonlight").

And now, for why they trump:

1. Space superiority. Those cubes (and yes, the lame-ass later spheres, but I point mostly to the cubes) were nigh-unstoppable killing machines. Show me Dalek spacecraft that can take 'em on, I double dog dare you. Cubes drop into planetary orbit and eat cities. That's cold, man.

2. The Borg's adaptability gives them the edge. They assimilate what is strongest about their opponents; they analyse and absorb and ultimately come out stronger with each battle they win. The Daleks are a dead end. After Daleks somehow manage to take out a single Cube, the Collective would know how to beat them.

3. Alice Krige was hawt. Yeah, she wasn't built like I usually like 'em, but her cold volcano logic was totally worth the "Assimilate THIS" one-liner from Worf.

4. Bjorn Borg was awesome in his day.

[madmanofprague.livejournal.com]

Obviously, they'll combine into some freakish time-travelling bullet-immune geometric super-nemesis.

[madmanofprague.livejournal.com]

And the Borg get Drama Points for being a devilish thematic mirror to the protagonist-organization.

[creativedv8tion.livejournal.com]

The Daleks are the ultimate survivors. They always survive. And since they're time masters, they can go back and learn and do it right the 2nd time. They beat the Gallifreyans, and there's no way you can tell me the Borg could do that, so I'm sticking to my story. ;)

[scott-lynch.livejournal.com]

Plus one single backed-up toilet will stop the Borg cold, while a Dalek can get right on it. Advantage: Team Skaro.

[uncut-diamond.livejournal.com]

Well, let's look at who they fought, shall we?

The Daleks: went on a wonderful tear through time and space, mopping the floor with all they encountered, until stopped by one lously English guy with a penchant for saying "Fantastic" and a liking of blondes.

The Borg: went on a wonderful tear through time and space, mopping the floor with all they encountered, until stopped by one lously French guy with a penchant for redhead doctors and tea. Please note I refuse to acknowledge Voyager.

So, we will now judge them by the company they keep. Since England > France (militarily), we can assume that 1 Englishman > 1 Frenchman (in a fight) and therefore, since the Borg were pwned by the inferior opponent, the Daleks will win, simply because it takes a higher class of enemy to defeat them.

[pyat.livejournal.com]

You're ignoring the REAL contest.

Borg vs. Cybermen.

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

Daleks. The Borg are lame, and I never liked them.

The Daleks would cut up the Borg and make them into Daleks.

Doctor Who had the Borg long before Star Trek did. They called them Cybermen.

[thebitterguy]

Borg vs who? (Not Borg vs Who, of course. That's another week).

[thebitterguy]

Fascinating. Discuss.

[(Anonymous)]

The Cybermen! A race of part-metal, part-flesh beings that roam the universe in an attempt to assimilate all life into their Collective. They are immune to most weapons and are prone to saying "Resistance is useless!"

Of course, the Borg would totally kick their butts.

[pyat.livejournal.com]

That was me what postesd that!

[gurudata.livejournal.com]

Hiho,

Or even Daleks vs. Cybermen! :)

Cu,
Andrew

[gurudata.livejournal.com]

Hiho,

Old-school Daleks: The Borg may have had an edge.

New-school kick-ass Daleks: No contest, they'd wipe out the collective.

Cu,
Andrew

Fer duh.

[mercuryeric.livejournal.com]

The Borg obviously, by virtue of much better special effects. ;)

-E

battle cries

[stevetassie.livejournal.com]

While "Exterminate! Exterminate!" is a little more stone cold than "Resistance is futile" as an actual battle cry, I think the underlying philosophy of the Borg will give them the edge. Even if you grant that the Daleks have better technology (not that I'm actually conceeding that point, just playing devil's advocate), all the Borg have to do is assimilate one Dalek into the collective and it's all over.

"I am Exterminus-plunger arm of Borg. You will be syndicated."

And now I'd like to propose my own Hoo'd Win:
Ghandi vs C3P0

Re: battle cries

[(Anonymous)]

Daleks are the superior being. They cannot be assimilated. If the Borg tried the superior Dalek DNA would eventually overwrite the entire collective. Any surviving Borg would be exterminated.

[xiombarg.livejournal.com]

I see you have discovered The Most Annoying War.

EXTERMINATE!
ASSIMILATE.
EXTERMINATE!
ASSIMILATE.