Random ramblings on TV

[thebitterguy]

There are three basic types of shows that dramatic TV can't get away from: Lawyers, Cops, and Doctors.

Now, admittedly, there are tonnes of other shows about other things, but when you pan waaaaayyy back, there are a LOT of shows about Lawyers, Cops & Doctors.

I think Matlock may have been a hybrid Lawyer/Doctor show. And all Law & Order is is Cop/Lawyer, on and on into infinity. [chung.chung] I think Third Watch is Doctor/Cop, and so is CSI, if you so desire.

Anyway, when you look at it that way, you see that there are a lot of dramas that tend to swm in that same pool.

You can tell when a Canadian TV show is gonna suck because it's about Doctors, Cops or Lawyers. The Associates? Phew. Da Vinci's Inquest? Is the coroner a cop who's a doctor, or just a doctor who works with cops? Either way, I'd rather gouge my eyes out that subject myself to a weekly dose of Nick "The check is in the mail!" Campell. And Street Legal was the epiphany of Canadian Lawyer Shows.

Of couse, Traders was about stockbrokers, and that was... Okay, that was pretty mediocre too.

But, anyway, as I was saying, a definite sign of creative bankruptcy is moving Doctors, Lawyers or Cops into another Genre. Say, for example, Westerns. Okay, Westerns tend to be about Cops, since if they aren't they're about Farmers. Now, Farmer Westerns are just fine. And Cop (or rather, Sherrif) Westerns are also good.

Doctor Westerns? Dude, I didn't even NEED to see an ep of Dr. Quinn, Medicine woman to know that it was stank. Lawyer Westerns? Okay, I can't name one. But I'll bet there's one out there.

But, really, I only say this to talk about my favourite genre, Sci Fi.

I've never been in a tv show pitch meeting, but I'm pretty sure they go something like this: "It's a show about Cops... In Space!"

Actually, it probably (or, sweet Jesus, Hopefully) is nothing like that. But that's how it could be. Why else would you get that horrid SF Cop show from a few years ago (was it actually CALLED Space Cops, or am I crazy? No, wait, apparently it was Space Precint, thanks to this terrifyingly appropriate web page about Space Police.). There was also Mercy Point, the Doctor Show in Space.

Admittedly, a Doctor show can be a very dramatic vehicle, and putting it in space can not suck (see any Dr. Franklin episode of B5, and if you don't like the one with the kid and his parents, Fuck You, and get out!). But Mercy Point proved that it can suck very, very much.

Okay, honestly, I remember next to nothing about it, but I'll just assume it did suck. But isn't the web great, since you can actually find fan sites for shows that have been cancelled that apparently weren't updated once that happened?

Anyway, after that, there are SF Laywer shows. The first one, Century City, came out last year, had a few interesting episodes, and got canned after six weeks. I wonder, sometimes, why they even try.

So, Century City was an SF show about Lawyers. Now, to be smart, they didn't set it in the year 2565 and have them try to figure out how human law applies to aliens. No "On sigma alpha 7, you can shoot a guy in the leg and he won't bleed to death! So he should be charged with only assault, not second degree murder!" God, wouldn't that be a shitty story.

Anyway, they set it a few decades in the future, and instead of aliens we get genetic engineering and cloning. The sets were pretty, and the cast prettier. I think all the courtrooms were virtual, in that they involved large tv sets.

But, in the end, another abortive lawyer show. In space.

Okay, not in space. In the future.

So, yes. In the end, it's all shows about Doctors, Lawyers and Cops.

Unless it isn't. Or it's a sitcom. Or reality TV. Or a game show.

Good night.