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thebitterguy ([personal profile] thebitterguy) wrote2008-01-08 03:48 pm
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I feel tired, so I will create a list

Top Ten Other Things Uwe Boll Could Have Given The King In Dungeon Siege as Bodyguards That Would Have Been Just As Anachronistic


  1. Cowboys

  2. Velociraptors

  3. Musketeers

  4. Vampire Slayers

  5. Golems

  6. Sexdroids

  7. Superflies

  8. Navy Seals

  9. Cylons

  10. Black Panthers

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[identity profile] deven-science.livejournal.com 2008-01-08 09:27 pm (UTC)(link)
What did he give the king?

[identity profile] stop-no-dont.livejournal.com 2008-01-08 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Did the theme to Mortal Kombat play in the background while Statham mowed 'em down?

[identity profile] kinra.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
Yes. Basically.

Statham had this laughable cardboard sword he persisted in using throughout the movie while heavily-armed knights thwacked at each other. I kept hoping he would upgrade, or something.

Nope, turns out the movie is entirely unconnected to the game.
thebitterguy: (Default)

[personal profile] thebitterguy 2008-01-09 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
With John Leguizamo as The Donkey.
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[personal profile] thebitterguy 2008-01-09 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
Well, he was technically working with the king, so he fought with the ninja.

[identity profile] kinra.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
Also lesbian cirque-de-soleil elves.
thebitterguy: (Default)

[personal profile] thebitterguy 2008-01-09 03:40 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, yes. Uwe loves his HLA.

[identity profile] gamera-spinning.livejournal.com 2008-01-08 10:12 pm (UTC)(link)
And imagine mixing some of these options:
Superfly Velocirapters!
Musketeer Vampire Slayers!
Cylon Golems!

[identity profile] life-on-queen.livejournal.com 2008-01-08 10:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I missed the point at which you explained why you did this to yourself but there are easier ways of practicing sadomasochism.
thebitterguy: (Default)

[personal profile] thebitterguy 2008-01-09 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I saw a film once where a Baldwin used the pizza/sex metaphor, but I find it wanting, so I just will say: Free movie!

[identity profile] life-on-queen.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 09:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I will accept free movie. Still... euw.

[identity profile] madmanofprague.livejournal.com 2008-01-08 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Superfly Cylon Black Panthers.
thebitterguy: (Default)

[personal profile] thebitterguy 2008-01-09 02:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I would totally watch that movie.

Although it would also be a great Damnation Decade game.

(Anonymous) 2008-01-09 05:22 pm (UTC)(link)
By Your Command, Bitch.

[identity profile] madmanofprague.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 05:23 pm (UTC)(link)
"By your command, bitch."

*jungle boogie montage*

[identity profile] thetathx1138.livejournal.com 2008-01-08 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Please, Burt Reynolds can only be escorted by sexdroids.

[identity profile] deven-science.livejournal.com 2008-01-08 10:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Fembots?

[identity profile] doc-mystery.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 01:22 am (UTC)(link)
So, what movie *are* you mocking?

::B::
thebitterguy: (Default)

[personal profile] thebitterguy 2008-01-09 03:40 am (UTC)(link)
Dungeon Siege: In the Name of the King.

[identity profile] doc-mystery.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
Aha, this movie:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460780/

::B::
thebitterguy: (Default)

[personal profile] thebitterguy 2008-01-09 09:37 pm (UTC)(link)
That's the one.

[identity profile] shara.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
Well hell, if it had had Musketeers I mighta gone to see it.
thebitterguy: (Default)

But Vhy Vould I Make Movie about Chocolate Bar?

[personal profile] thebitterguy 2008-01-09 09:37 pm (UTC)(link)
You know, if he ever found out that he could do a Three Musketeers movie without having to pay for the license, we'd be in trouble.
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